


like connections between those who have been there together, through everything

by phoenyxies (berriesbloom)



Series: the birds will all sing a song in halcyon [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Critmas Exchange, Gen, critmas treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21997891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berriesbloom/pseuds/phoenyxies
Summary: Nott isn't stupid, and she knows when something's wrong.
Relationships: Beauregard & Caduceus Clay & Fjord & Jester Lavorre & Nott & Caleb Widogast & Yasha, Beauregard Lionett & Nott, Dairon & Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett
Series: the birds will all sing a song in halcyon [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1583410
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32
Collections: Critmas Exchange 2019





	like connections between those who have been there together, through everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hufflepirate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflepirate/gifts).



When they finally arrive at the beach, seeing Fjord and Caduceus talking to each other next to the shoreline and watching Luc and Nugget run whooping down the hill, Beau walks up beside Nott. Nott glances up at her, and when Beau looks away hastily, she narrows her eyes at her. Yeza is already following after Luc, Caleb talking to Jester and Yasha, so Nott tugs at Beau’s sash.

“What’s wrong?” Nott glares up at her, and Beau glares back.

“What? Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine, geez.” Beau bats at her hand, and Nott lets go, still watching her.

“You’re lying, something’s wrong. You’re either telling me or I’m telling Jester who will absolutely drag the answer out of you kicking and screaming. What’s wrong?” Nott raises an eyebrow. At the mention of Jester, Beau glances back, and Nott watches her. Something in her expression shifts just for a moment, a small peek of vulnerability Nott knows that Beau’d never show willingly to her if something wasn’t on her mind. Beau sighed and sat down right where she was standing. Nott followed suit, folding her dress beneath her goblin-halfling legs and not breaking eye contact with Beau.

“Is this about the whole c-”

“No.” Beau practically explodes, glancing frantically between Nott and Jester, who keeps walking farther and farther down the hill to the sand. Nott waits as Beau waits, probably for everyone else to get far enough away. “Fuck, no, it isn’t. Not right now, not- it’s not that, okay?”

Nott raises an eyebrow, which Beau groans at, and pitches herself backwards into the sandy dirt beneath them. Nott scooches to Beau’s side, where she can see the human’s face, covered by her hand in a dramatic attempt to hide her expression. “What is it, then?”

Beau was quiet, for a few moments. “A while ago, before a lot of this happened, just after the mess in Roshona when we did,” she gestures wildly with her hand, “all of that shit with the beacon.. Dairon told me to not get attached to all of this. To you. To anyone. And that’s-yeah, that seemed to make a lot of sense. You know? We’re a bunch of chucklefucks who have backstory upon tragic backstory or whatever and it always comes back to kick our collective asses, so it made sense!”

“But obviously that’s changed. I’ve changed. I’m an Expositor now, for fuck’s sake. The student has become the-the teacher, and it’s just..” she trailed off, and after several seconds of silence, Nott prodded her side hard, and Beau smacked her hand away, grumbling before continuing. “I’m attached. I’m very attached. I’m so attached to this stupid little group that we spent fucking nights at the beach skipping around like kids, okay?” Her voice warbles a little. Nott would be taken aback by this show of raw emotion, but she has the sense to keep quiet as Beau continues.

“Dairon told me to not get attached, and I think she knows that I am. Attached. But she still named me an Expositor, even knowing that. So, like, what the fuck was the point? You know? We did so much to get Yasha back, and she’s back, and I couldn’t be fucking happier. Fjord’s got the whole Wildmother thing going on now, he’s got a fucking holy symbol, and he seems so much lighter now and I feel so.. so.. I don’t know, but I’m _feeling_.

“And Caleb, he’s… got his whole fucking thing happening. There’s so much going on now, but I _don’t_ care because I would do anything for you all and it’s just. It’s fucking confusing and stupid and weird as all hell.”

She falters at that, and almost deflates, like she ran out of steam. Nott watches her still, seeing her eyes stare up into the evening sky. It takes moments of quiet and listening to the wind shift the plants around them before Beau starts getting antsy, and Nott speaks. 

“I didn’t expect to be here either.” Nott stares down the hill, watching their odd little family busying themselves by the shore. “I didn’t think I’d ever see Yeza again. Seeing Luc was a, a fever dream when I began to travel with Caleb. So was being able to use magic. Or seeing the Kryn’s city in person. Or everything I’ve done since that tavern in Trostenwald. If I had a badass monk elf telling me anything, I’d try and do it too. You aren’t alone in this. Our lives are fucking weird.”

Beau scoff-laughed at that, and Nott prodded her, getting her to sit up and move next to Nott. Beau was watching everyone too.

“But I’m glad we found this. I’m glad we met, in the long run. Even if you fuckers have gotten me a lot more scars than I would’ve gotten living on my own. I’d like to think there’s strength in numbers, and strength in caring about all those numbers. I’m happy Caleb chose to stay with us, after Molly and after everything. I’m thankful we-we went to find Yeza, even against all those odds, and even though he was in a Kryn prison of all places. We changed from those mercenaries that did shady jobs for coin, from those idiots we were months ago. And I’d say we’re better for it.

“I don’t know what Dairon’s deal is, but I know you respect them, even if you don’t want to admit it. I know their word means something to you. And I feel like the fact they still made you a super secret important high-ranking spy even knowing you went against their advice means they see something in you and in us that you don’t see yet. We’re a bunch of fuck-up assholes, but we work well together. I care about you, and about Caleb, and about Jester and Yasha and Caduceus and Fjord. I love you guys. I think we’re badass. We’re better together.”

Nott stood up, and held a hand out to Beau. She took it, and the two of them stood. Nott looked up at her, and grinned. Beau gave a small smile back. She let go of Beau’s hand, and gestured for her to follow. “Now, if you’re done moping about loving us, we should go join the others befre they think we fucking died or something.”

Beau snorted wetly as she nodded, rubbing at her eyes and walking down after Nott. Laughter and clamor rang from the odd little band down by the shore, and they all spent the night there, before heading home.


End file.
